I Can't Think of a Title That Adequately Expresses My Anger Right Now
Mood:  irritated

well,i just got back from that park near his house where i asked him to meet me. its not like he said no and i went anyway. he said fine. so everything in the world happened to me on my journey to his house and i basically had to end up walking over there from where i live, which is not a short distance at all. no matter how mad he has ever been at me he has never stood me up. he's done that to everyone else, not me. so i called from a payphone a number of times as well. he couldve told me. i cant believe that he lead me astray and let me go all the way over there. in that neighborhood, i couldve been robbed or raped or killed. i am just so disappointed. im gonna confront him about this...soon. im not a confrontational person either. ive been doing all sorts of things out of the ordinary lately.

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (how original)
Mood:  down
Now Playing: Helter Skelter - The Beatles

i saw the picture and i could feel my heart collapse. it was hard to see. there it was, the evidence of what i had done. of what I had done. it was horrible, this rush of sadness and anger and pain came over me as i truly saw what we had become. my worst fear was staring right at me, my fear of losing him. the person who i was solely dependant on once upon a time is now as distant as i ever could have imagined. i can't agree more that it's time for us to part ways, but i never in my wildest dreams, my wildest nightmares would have thought that it would happen in such a crude, vulgar and uncongenial way. no matter how much i hate him and how much we fight, i'm still human and right now i feel guilty and regretful. this isn't as easy as i thought it would be.

the Day That I Broke Free Part Deux
Mood:  mischievious
I just got done destroying anything that reminds me of him and i feel liberated. i just needed to say that.

The Day That I Broke Free
Mood:  celebratory

i don't really know why i signed up for this. i guess to put it simply, i need somewhere to vent since he has mr. seussy (my journal). yesterday was the best and worst day of my life....well, not the worst, but close. i'm finally done, i'm finally free. after a year and a half of being on this roller coaster, i've decided that enough is exactly that. i'm getting off because too much of this is making me deathly ill. we got into the biggest fight that we've ever been in. he pissed me off so much that i resorted to violence which i'm not proud of myself for, but damnit, someone needs to wake him up and make him realize that you can't toy with people and get rid of him when you get bored with them. i hope that he grows up. i won't be around to see that though because i want nothing more than to be completely cleansed of anything that has to do with him. i remember telling him that i'm a year older and hopefully a year wiser and i'm proud of myself for wising up to him and his bullshit. i'm not gonna use this to bash him (too badly) because i am years ahead of him in maturity. if he wants to play this game again, then fine, let's play, but when i get what i want, then i'm done....for good. on a better note, it's my mom's b-day today and i'm focused on making her happy because she deserves my love and attention. i probably won't keep up with this, i'm so inconsistant.